“I mean, I was standing in line for coffee at Dean & DeLuca and all of the sudden my shorts are just, like, gone. Just freaking gone! It was, like, the weirdest thing ever,” commented George Washington University sophomore Andrew Kidd, an economics major from any part of New Jersey. “It’s ridiculous. Do you know how expensive that shit is? You know, my dad’s a lawyer and I bet we’re gonna sue. I bet a ton of people are,” added Benji Brinkley, an international affairs major from Westchester, NY. Despite standing out in complete dishabille, no Georgetown students could be reached for comment.